FartAngels is a nonprofit global community that fosters farting, fart arting and art farting.We support Angel Farts, Farting Angels, Farting Animals, and mere mortal fart practioners, fart educators and propagators, fart artists and artist that can barely fart, and fart scientists whose work ensures and promotes the sustainability of global farting, because in our world нема ссики без пердики як весілля без музики !
Showing posts with label art fart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label art fart. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Пердит ли рыба?, или Do fish fart?


Когда вы получаете вопрос, как "пердит ли рыба?" это представляет собой прекрасную возможность скрасить скучный жизни ученых. Япослал срочные запросы по всему миру. Лучший ответ на вопрос о том, рыба пердеть: "Они делают, если они мужчины".
Рыбий метеоризм не был одним из основных направлений биологических исследований, поэтому следующие несколько условно.

До некоторой степени ответ зависит от того,как вы определяете "пердеть". Многие рыбы имеют плавательного пузыря, что они раздувают или выкачать, сколько необходимо для поддержания плавучести. Обычно любой изгнаны газ выходит из полости рта и будет правильно считать отрыжка.
Тем не менее, песок тигровая акула, Carcharias Телец, глотка воздуха в животе на поверхности, а затем выпускает ее через заднюю дверь, чтобы достичь желаемой глубины. Конечно,это квалифицируется как метеоризм в обычном смысле этого слова.
Но пуристы могут возразить, что это не так пердеж - то есть побочный продукт пищеварения. После этого мы получим в несколько спекулятивной сфере. В теории метаболизма любое животное производит двуокись углерода, в то время как бактерии в кишечнике производят метан. Оба должны быть очищены чтобы рыба теряет способность контролировать свою плавучесть. Углекислый газ, как правило, выводится через газотранспортную с жабрами, метан должен уйти каким-либо другим способом. Тем не менее, фактический наблюдений пукая рыба редко - и давайте смотреть правде в глаза, подводный, это не явление, которое можно легко спрятать.
Некоторые эксперты говорят, пищеварительной газов объединены каким-то образом с калом рыбы, которые упакованы в желатиновых трубки, а затем выслан из страны. (Часто рыба ест, то это - не зря является изучение рыб называют ихтиологии

Некоторые виды рыб, наблюдатели утверждают,имеют контрольные пузырь или два побега из кормовой рыбы после того,как проглотил воздух у поверхности (я слышал, это говорит о тарпон). Но опять же,это не совсем продукт пищеварения. На веб-Я видел, утверждают, что, поскольку коралловые состоит из карбоната кальция, который в сочетании с желудочной кислотой выделяется углекислый газ,коралловых рыб, питающихся должно производить пукает в изобилии.
Если это правда, мне кажется, твари, в непосредственной близости от типичных коралловых рифов должны испускать леса пузырей. В общем, много исследований еще предстоит сделать.
Может быть, вы могли бы организовать экспедицию и дайте нам знать!?
When you get a question like “do fish fart?”  is a golden opportunity to brighten up scientists' dull lives. I sent urgent inquiries all over the globe. Best response on the subject of whether fish fart: "They do if they're male."

Fish flatulence has not been a major focus of biological research, so the following is somewhat tentative. To some extent the answer depends on how you define "fart." Many fish have a swim bladder that they inflate or deflate as necessary to maintain buoyancy. Usually any expelled gas exits from the mouth and would properly be considered a burp. However, the sand tiger shark, Carcharias taurus, gulps air into its stomach at the surface, then discharges it out the back door to attain the desired depth. Surely this qualifies as flatulence in the common sense of the term.

But purists may object that this isn't true farting--that is, a by-product of digestion. We then get into a somewhat speculative realm. In theory any animal's metabolism produces carbon dioxide, while bacteria in the gut produce methane. Both must be purged lest the fish lose the ability to control its buoyancy. Carbon dioxide is typically eliminated via gas transport to the gills; methane has to escape some other way.
However, actual sightings of farting fish are rare--and let's face it, underwater this isn't a phenomenon that could be easily concealed. Some experts say digestive gases are consolidated somehow with the fish's feces, which are packed into a gelatinous tube and then expelled. (Frequently the fish then eats this--not for nothing is the study of fish called ichthyology.) The point is, no farts.
Some fish observers claim they see a telltale bubble or two escape from the stern of a fish after it has gulped air at the surface (I have heard this said of tarpon). But again, this is not strictly a product of digestion. On the Web I have seen the claim that inasmuch as coral is made of calcium carbonate, which when combined with stomach acid produces carbon dioxide, coral-eating fish ought to produce farts in abundance. If true, it seems to me, the critters in the vicinity of a typical coral reef should emit forests of bubbles unequaled since the days of Lawrence Welk--not the impression one usually gets. Then again, few visit reefs specifically for the purpose of detecting fish farts. In short, much research remains to be done. Maybe you could organize an expedition and let us know.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

С удовольствием отвечаем члену (Анонимному)!



Ответ:

Вы не только нормальная, но ещё и реальная как сами пуки и пердёжь-мне б такую!

Ваш парень, к сожалению, претенциозный демагог, который сам выпускает зловонные "шептуны" во всех лифтах Вашего города.

Более, он не понимает благотворное влияние собственного пердежа на Ваше психо-соматическое равновесие.

Если у Вас вдруг закончатся собственные пуки, советую заказать "Liquid Ass" (Жидкая Жопа) на http://www.liquidass.com/  Это дёшево, сердито и даёт Вам  возможность оросить своим ароматом целое помещение.

А пока, гоните этого парня и ищите себе того, с кем сможете пердеть в унисон!

Пердите сами, пердите с нами, предите вместо нас!

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Angel's Fart - Hand printed stockings

Les Queues De Sardines - Angel's Fart - Hand printed stockings from Normandy, France..

Just endorsed by the Fart Angels and can be worn separately and with other FarrAngels' official wear.

Screen-printed by hand in limited quantities, these rare and exclusive articles, just like your exquisite farts, will never go unnoticed.

This endorsement is purely cultural and artistic and is non-commercial.

Show them if got them!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Fish Farts in Japanese Fart Scrolls.




I was doing research for another post a while back, and found something a bit…unusual. It was an old Japanese scroll about farting.

No, you didn’t misread that last sentence. The whole scroll, which is called He-Gassen (“The Fart Battle”) is just about people farting. Farting at other people, farting at cats, farting off of horses, farting into bags; just farting everywhere.

Why? I couldn’t really tell you. I’ve tried to do some research but, believe it or not, academic literature on Japanese farting is surprisingly few and far between.

I found some relevant articles on my old university’s academic databases, but the only way I could obtain them would be to request them printed out and go pick them up. Which, you know, isn’t something I really want to do.

I can only imagine what it would be like if I went back to school to pick up my fart literature:
“Hi, how can we help you?”
“I’m here to pick up some articles I put on hold.”
“Sure, what are they about?”
“Well, they’re, um, about farting.”
“…”

I did find out enough to know that this isn’t the only farting scroll out there in existence – in fact, in the 90s, a collection of fart scrolls sold for $1,500 at the famous Christie’s auction house. I am not making this up.

I also found out that the famous uikyo-e artist Utagawa Kuniyoshi also dabbled in fart art, painting a piece depicting dudes farting at each other.

Perhaps the greatest piece of this farting scroll is a giant panorama of four dudes farting into a building, and the chaos ensuing within. Click on the picture below for the full-sized version because really, it’s not something you wanna miss out on.

In the end, I think I tried to read too far into this. I kept expecting to find some deep cultural explanation as to why these guys made whole scrolls about farting. But I think it really just boils down to one universal truth: farts are funny.

We can pretend that our senses of humor are more sophisticated than that, but let’s face it: when somebody lets one rip, you’re going to chuckle.

And, as if this wasn’t enough, we made a video for this too. Conspiracy? Maybe. Aliens? Definitely.

As far as the bouquet of smells that can be generated by consumption of dead fish and partially fermented soy beans, we are leaving it to your olphactory imagination!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

A Guide to the Identification and Classification of North American Farters

 

Learning- or better still, thinking up- names for fart types is a traditional early-adolescent ritual.
Similarly, methods of identifying the sources of a fart are a subject of peer-group, or tribal, speculation, the usual rule of thumb being "Who smelled it, dealt it," or "The smeller's the teller."

Occasionally, this oral tradition has achieved the level of Xerox publication, but never before has a systematic analysis, along the lines of Jane's Fighting ships or A Field Guide to the Birds, been attempted in print. Tentatively, then, we present the following.


Liar
People who blame other people when he farts




Empty-headed men
People who hold the fart very long




Smart
People who know when to fart


Suffer

People who want to fart but can not



Mysterious
People who fart reply, anyone else do not know




Nervous
People who suddenly hold their farts



Confident
People who farts in public and tell others that he is farts



Sadist
A person who after farts, he waved his fart to the others



Shy
People who fart but has no sound, and ashamed himself




Strategic
People who hides his fart with laughter



Stingy #1
A person who after farts, he breath as much as he can to replace the fart




Stingy #2
People who fart a little bit




Friendly
People who liked to smell other peoples fart




Aquatic
People who like to fart in the water


Honest

People who admit if he farts



Athletic
People who need energy if they want to fart




We are farting with you, for you, and on your behalf!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Fart King v The King of FartAngels

Fart King is a member of society who constantly rip farts on a level beyond the average person. Fart Kings often take pride in being able to ass whistle so often, and as such, they proudly fill the air with their custom flatulence.

Although some will suggest that Fart King's get their crown for the overall frequency of their anal expulsions, this is but a myth. In fact, a Fart King should be given his/her title for their frequency as well as their consistency, decibel volume, and last but not least, their custom odor.

A Fart King will often drop bean blowers that not only wreak but also have an appalling pitch and a distracting audible volume. It is these factors which combine to truly give someone the title.

Of course, it is difficult to crown a Fart King globally, or even state wide, instead it is encouraged to crown Fart Kings within your own social circles.

Fart King is a professional admired for his/her ability to generate consistent, smelly, and loud barking brownies.
                                                                              #

Your humble Propriator is The King of FartAngels ---the one and only Supreme Fart Leader of the global community of FartAngels (please see the mission statement in the heading of this blog) who's daily good will farts allow Smelly Little Angels (SLA) to Get their Wings.

On those rare occasions, when SLA is not released, organic strawberries are farted out.

We are farting with you, for you, and instead of you!

Не пука, ни перда!

Немного о пуках

Как хороши, как свежи были пуки...

Пуковая дама

Час пук

Не все то пуки, что воняют

Не все то жопа, что пердит

Нам жопа пукать и срать помогает

А пуки здесь тихие...

Семь раз набзди, один раз проветрь

Жопу пуком не испортишь

Сверхпуковая скорость

- Ни пука, ни перда !
- Пошел к черту !

А пуки летят, а пуки, как птицы летят,
И некуда им повернуться назад...

Я пукаю, значит, я существую !

Пук носу не товарищ

Пук пуком вышибают

Союз России и Беларуси:
Пукин и Пукашенко

Тише пернешь - больше вони

Любо дорого пердеть

Без труда не выпукнешь и пука из зада !

Удача отвернулась, и громко пернула

От срача глаза велики

От любви до ненависти - один пук

Человек на 10 % состоит из воды, и на 10 % - из
газов

Нежданный пук хуже татарина

Не так страшен пук, как его запах

Пуки приходят и уходят, а вонь остается

Где пук - там и вонь

Когда я жру - я не пержу !

Большой жопе - большие пуки

Из пука вонь не выкинешь

Сколько жопу ни корми - она все равно пердит

В России две беды - дороги и пердюки

Кажется, пук начинается...

Огородное пукало

Семь пуков на неделе

Попмузыка - мое призвание
Александр Упукник

Бздех разочарования

Повторенье - мать перденья

Пук - воробей: вылетит - не поймаешь

Свой бздех ближе к телу

С глаз долой - из жопы вонь

Как много ароматов чудных
Готовит жопы дивный дух...

В здоровом теле - здоровый пук

Когла рак на горе пукнет

В лесу раздавался запор дровосека

Вони из пука не выкинешь

Пукишь

Friday, April 20, 2012

To Light, or Not to Light?

Fart lightning or pyroflatulence is the practice of igniting the gases produced by human flatulence, often producing a flame of a blue hue, hence the act being known colloquially as a "blue angel", or in Australia, a "blue flame". The fact that flatus is flammable, and the actual combustion of it through this practice, gives rise to much humourous derivation. Other colors of flame such as orange and yellow are possible with the color dependent on the mixture of gases formed in the colon.


Methane burns in oxygen forming water and carbon dioxide often producing a blue hue (ΔHc = -891 kJ/mol),[ as:
CH4(g) + 2O2(g) → CO2(g) + 2H2O(g)
Hydrogen sulfide also combusts (ΔHc = -519 kJ/mol)[3] to
2H2S(g) + 3O2(g) → 2SO2(g) + 2H2O(g)
The odor associated with flatus is due to hydrogen sulfide, skatole, indole, volatile amines and short chain fatty acids. These substances are detectable by olfactory neurons in concentrations as low as 10 parts per billion, hydrogen sulfide being the most detectable.

The act of fart lighting is performed by using an open flame such as a candle or a cigarette lighter. There are web sites on the Internet devoted exclusively to explaining proper lighting techniques.

Common problems reported are severe and painful burns around and about the anus. Reports of serious burns to body parts are not uncommon but clothing helps to protect one's skin. Wearing pants (e.g. thick cotton sweatpants) is a good safety precaution. As with all fire stunts, cotton clothes (particularly if damp), or even better, wool, are safer than synthetics. The fire point of cotton is 210 °C (410 °F), and it is hard to ignite accidentally. But many common synthetic fabrics such as polyester fleece or nylon can easily catch fire or melt to the skin.

Many experienced fart lighters suggest that denim be worn during the process of fart lighting; due to its thickness, it usually does a good job of protecting the skin from burns. Performing fart lighting in only underwear, in synthetic clothing (e. g. track pants), or no clothing at all could result in serious burns to the anus, scrotum, or vulva.

The manly art of fart-burning. Compression, ignition, combustion and exhaust.
—Frank Zappa

Fart lighting has been a novelty practice primarily among young men or college students for decades,[ but is discouraged for its potential for causing injury. Such experiments typically occur on camping trips and in single-sex group residences, such as tree-houses, dormitories, or fraternity houses.

In an case, DO OUR PART--LIGHT YOUR FART!